I'll Find My Way But Until Then I'm Only Spinning

So Jacob's gone! I'm surprisingly okay with it. I'm talking to Josh again, and I think things between us are finally 100% over. I'm okay with that too. I've learned lately that you can make it through about anything if you want to. There's so many people out there that want to be miserable and that want to complain and blame others for what happens to them, but they can only blame themsleves. Holding onto your past only makes the present harder to grasp. You have to let go of any past wrongdoings or ill feelings to make room for new and better feelings and experiences. People often comment about how happy I am. It's because I've learned how to let go of the past and live in the present. i love where I am right now, even though I have no boyfriend, I live with my parents, and I'm going to OTC. I say the grass is greener on my side, because I'm lucky to have what I have. I may not have a boyfriend, but I have so many other people that care about me. I may live with my parents, but they keep me safe and sheltered. I may be going to OTC, but I'm going for free! People just don't realize how good their lives are, I guess. I don't know about you, but I couldn't stand being sad all the time. I get sick of those people very easily.

My Life Would Suck Without You

Wow uh... lots has happened.
I havent seen Josh in over two months. We're done. Screw him. Gah.
But about a month ago I became friends with a guy at school, Jacob. We dated about two weeks, and really like each other, but when I brought up committment, he shied away. We talked last thursday, and he said if this was still going on in a couple of months, then we would try the whole bf/gf thing. Well, that lasted about 48 hours. We were texting Saturday night, and he said there was something he wanted to ask me that couldn't wait til tomorrow. He then asked me to be his girlfriend! And I of course said yes!!! So yeah! Life's pretty good!

I must be dreaming

Wow uh yeah.... lots has happened.....

Josh and I are together...kinda. I called him after hanging out with Brandon on VDayand told him everything: i only wanna be with him. He said he wanted to talk in person. And we just made plans for Saturday, so im anxious to see ifhe saysanything.

school=good.

im tired.

nighty night

School is going well! I've got 3 classes with Ben Rupert, who I was in Journalism with last year, so I'm not without friends too much! So far it's easy and fun and kinda boring!

I went out with Josh on Friday. It was so amazing. I was driving home tonight, and I was thinking about him and he called me. I think I'm falling in love with him. Even though he's older than me and we're a tad different, he just gets me.

Anyway, I've got school tomorrow!

you know you love me

xoxo

Kelsi

Left my heart to accompany his nights

I have all my stuff for school in order! I did the whole e-cashier thing today, and tomorrow I'm going to get my books! I also have to take my laptop into Best Buy so they can fix my fan/weird noise. And then I'm goingto Barnes and Noble to browse/spend the gift card Kandi bought me for Christmas! yay! And Josh and I are hanging out again! yayayay! I think he might drag me to see The Unborn though... Scary movies and I do not mix! lol

I'm kinda excited to start school up. I'm taking classes Iactually like, which helps considerably! I just hope I know someone in each of my classes, but that's very doubtful. I do know I'll have Public Speaking with Samee! I just wish I didn't have to be in class at 8:30 two days a week. Oh well. At least my math class is late, so my brainwon't be all foggy from sleep!

Speaking of sleep, I need to get some!

You know you love me

xoxo

Kelsi

Applebee's, The Spirit and Josh! OH MY!

I went out with Kandi last night. We went to Applebee's and laughed at the crappy waitresses/waiters. i missed her a lot.

I went and saw The Spirit with Josh after that. I missed him a lot, too. I wish I lived in Springfield so I could see him more often (oh, wait! That will come true this summer!) He's a truly great guy, and I don't know why I didn't really give him a chance in the first place. I'm so retarded sometimes. Brandon called while we were out, and I told him the truth and said I was out with Josh. He seemed mad. I really don't care. He's pissing me off major.

I also found out tonight that my built-in webcam also comes with a mic! So I'm going to try to make vlogs and such and record a couple songs I've written. I'm kind of excited about it!

So, yeah. That's all I've got.

Peace bitches

Kelsi

Wait, they don't love you like I love you

So I hope you had a safe and happy new year! I went to a couple parties with Brandon, then slept over at his house. Got to meet a couple cool people, like Hammer! He was really funny, trying to hit on me in front of Brandon and stuff! I didn't drink, which was probably a really good thing! I instead was the DD, and drove Brandon's car all over Springfield! We got lost on more than one occassion, since he was drinking and I'm sucky with directions! But it all ended up okay! We finally got back to his house in Clever around 3 or 4... and we stayed up til 6-ish! lol It was nice to fall asleep with him by my side and to wake up in his arms. He was so sweet that night, too. I got hit on once at the first big party we went to, and after that he wouldn't stop kissing on me or putting his arm around me. It was really cute. And he introduced me as his girlfriend all night. But when we were driving to Springfield, he said he wasn't sure how long this would work, because of the distance and other things. I almost started crying. I just feel like this is right. And I was talking to Hammer about me moving to STL, and Brandon looked hurt and asked "I don't have any say in this?" And I want to say no, but he does have a little say. If things turn out well between us, then I might stay in Springfield, but if he's already talking about not being together, then screw it. I need to do what's best for me. And really, Joplin isn't that far from here. I don't know. He also said that if his ex, Mattie, wouldn't have lied to him, then he probably would have gotten back with her, and I'm just like wtf?! So was I some second choice or something?! As much as I do like him, some thing's are wrong between us. And I can't deny that.