Bring On The Rain, Bring On The Thunder

So, I have some new friends! Yay! Kristyn, Gyger, Earnie, Chad and Aaron! I met most of them a month ago, but gyger and chad i just met like last week! But they're all really boss, so who cares?! Jonathan introduced us, and its been bff's ever since! Dustin also hangs out with us, which brings me t the point of this entry...

We went out to Midnight Rodeo for Kristyn's 21st birthday Thursday. Dustin came, and barely talked to me, which was expected. But as soon as Jonathan and Gyger showed up and started flirting with me, he all of a sudden had to talk to me and joke with me. Wtf. right?! Well, he got mad that Jon and I went dancing without him, so he ignored me a little more until we got back to Gyger's. We all started drinking (me less than the others) and all of a sudden, Dustin pulls me into his lap and starts making out with me! This has happened before, so I just go with it. Pretty soon, we all decide to go to bed, so I follow Gyger to his room to sleep in his bed, and Dustin follows us. We're all okay, then Dustin starts getting sick and I can't remember much after that. I remember being really scared, and crying for him, because we thought he might have mild alcohol poisoning. Well, Chad took care of him from 3-7 while i tried to sleep, then i took care of him 7-10, which was easy bc he fell asleep. I fell asleep on the couch, and woke up at 10 with Ashley and Earnie, and got Dustin up at 11. Thankfully, he was coherent at least. Chad drove him and his car back to his place, and me and Earnie followed. We made sure he ate and got something to drink and took some Advil, then we left so he could shower and sleep some more. As we were leaving, Dustin kept thanking us for everything, and I just kept telling him he has taken care of me when I drink, so I owe him and things like that. Then I looked him straight in the eye and said, "I love you Dustin. I'll call you later, ok?" and he just looked at me funny, gave me another hug, and we left. I realized that afternoon that I really care about Dustin. I wrote him a nice little note, though he will never see it.

Dear Dustin,
You are so confusing. One minute you love me and we're bffs, and the next you hate me. I think you're jealous though. Jealous that Jonathan likes me and we flirt, and Gyger likes me and we flirt. You barely even talked to me until Gyger started hanging on me. There's no need to be jealous though. I like you a lot more than I like them. Even though I shouldn't. I think you're scared to like me, too, because it might be stronger than what you had with Paige. I'm scared too you know. Even with all the crap you've put me thru and all the crap I put you thru, we still end up as friends. And I still love you. I just wish you could see how beautiful we could be together, that's all. Last night also scared the crap outta me. I have never seen you that drunk, and I never care to again. I was so scared that you wouldn't be okay. I don't want you to scare me like that. You can ask Gyger or Earnie. I was almost in tears last night over you. I wish I could tell you how much I really do care for you. You need someone like me. I can take care of you and be there for you. That's all I want: to be there for you. I just wish you would realize all this. But I'm not sure you ever will.
Love,
Kelsi