Well, Sam's wedding was yesterday! It was so gorgeous and fun! I looked out during the ceremony and saw Melissa and Duane crying and I started crying! Sam looked absolutely drop dead gorgeous!
I also got to hang out with a special person, Micheal. I really like him. He's nice and sweet and cute. And he told me he's going to stop going to Latin Vibe and stuff like that. I just really like the guy. When we were sitting at the head table, one of Nathanael's relatives, Trudy, came over when we were talking, and asked if we were engaged or married! We both said no, and she replied with "Well you two make an adorable couple! I have a good feeling about you two, and I'm never wrong!" Then I caught the bouquet! I'm not usually this superstitous, but... let's just say I have a good feeling too.
xoxo,
Kelsi
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
The Boys Are Too Refined
Hey! It's been like what? a week? Here's a bit of an update...
Since then, I've hung out a bit with Kelly, who is turning out to be a really good friend. I've also taken a liking to Chris, my ex-manager from Aero. I went in and saw him last weekend, and he was really nice, but I saw him Friday and he hugged me and kissed my cheek and I just went with it. I brought Kelly in to buy a hat, and Chris was asking if he was my date, and when I said "Oh God NO!"he was like "ok, good... he's not your type...." Then when I left with Kelly, he was all hugs and kisses! I also talked to him about switching stores, and he's all for it! The "dream team" as he called us, would be back! Whatever! There's also this guy that works at Music For A Song. I have no clue what his name is, but he seems cool and really flirty. I walked in last weekend, and James Taylor was playing, and when I asked who put it on, he said he did. So we had a nice chat about James and whatnot, and I just left. But then I went in last night with Kelly, and the hot guy actually remembered me! He made me promise to come in and see him later,and I'm like "oooookay!" I ain't arguing with that!
And then there's Sam. Her and I have always been really good friends, but ever since Katy ended up being the Maid of Honor from hell, her and I have gotten super-close. And her party last Saturday was a hoot and a half! I also met Michael,who is a friend of Sam's from work. We like each other, but its kinda hard living an hour away. The three of us hung out along with Sam's mom, and we went to the mall and ate and stuff, and he was holding my hand and putting his arm around me. We made plans to hang out last night, but he had car problems, so I hung out with Kelly instead.But he felt really bad, sent me a cute text saying he misses me, and we're gonna hang out this week sometime! I'll be seeing quite a bit of him, since I'll be in Springfield thursday-sunday! I think we might be getting a group together and going out Thursday, too! yay! lol I like Michael. He's a nice guy, and I haven't met a nice guy in a while!
Anyway! It's getting late! I'm going to bed!
You know you love me.
Kelsi
Since then, I've hung out a bit with Kelly, who is turning out to be a really good friend. I've also taken a liking to Chris, my ex-manager from Aero. I went in and saw him last weekend, and he was really nice, but I saw him Friday and he hugged me and kissed my cheek and I just went with it. I brought Kelly in to buy a hat, and Chris was asking if he was my date, and when I said "Oh God NO!"he was like "ok, good... he's not your type...." Then when I left with Kelly, he was all hugs and kisses! I also talked to him about switching stores, and he's all for it! The "dream team" as he called us, would be back! Whatever! There's also this guy that works at Music For A Song. I have no clue what his name is, but he seems cool and really flirty. I walked in last weekend, and James Taylor was playing, and when I asked who put it on, he said he did. So we had a nice chat about James and whatnot, and I just left. But then I went in last night with Kelly, and the hot guy actually remembered me! He made me promise to come in and see him later,and I'm like "oooookay!" I ain't arguing with that!
And then there's Sam. Her and I have always been really good friends, but ever since Katy ended up being the Maid of Honor from hell, her and I have gotten super-close. And her party last Saturday was a hoot and a half! I also met Michael,who is a friend of Sam's from work. We like each other, but its kinda hard living an hour away. The three of us hung out along with Sam's mom, and we went to the mall and ate and stuff, and he was holding my hand and putting his arm around me. We made plans to hang out last night, but he had car problems, so I hung out with Kelly instead.But he felt really bad, sent me a cute text saying he misses me, and we're gonna hang out this week sometime! I'll be seeing quite a bit of him, since I'll be in Springfield thursday-sunday! I think we might be getting a group together and going out Thursday, too! yay! lol I like Michael. He's a nice guy, and I haven't met a nice guy in a while!
Anyway! It's getting late! I'm going to bed!
You know you love me.
Kelsi
Sunday, September 14, 2008
My Smile Has Become Empty
I thpught you'd always be here,
But I guess I shouldn't hang on to you my dear,
You always felt so strong,
Watching you crumble like this, oh, this feels so wrong,
Dry my every unshed tear,
You know courage is the absence of fear,
Just go ahead and walk away,
It's not like i ever needed you anyway,
How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear
You know what you've done,
Can never be erased,
But if you stay,
I could turn another face,
Your words are strong,
But what your eyes say is stronger,
and baby I know that you want to stay longer,
How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear
And I, I don't even know you,
You, you'll pretend that I'm gone
How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear my dear,
You will pretend that I'm not here,
You will pretend that I'm not here,
Just you forget that I was ever here
The above was the result of a loss of sleep. Have you ever had so much inside of you that you have to write? And then when you do finally get it all out you feel so relieved and terrible at the same time and its so overwhelming that you cry? I know it probably sounds like I cry a lot, but I really don't. Getiing my emotions out on paper is usually so hard for me that when I do, it's huge release and It's wonderful and horrible and scary at the same time. You feel a bit raw, because this shit is personal. For me it's really personal. And just because I feel like it, I'll put another writing I did tonight. Love it, hate it, I really don't care.
How did I get here?
And why the hell did it take this long?
I've buried a best friend
inside my trash can you left outdoors....
And you dropped me in the mailbox,
my face paint still left on.
And you accused I never loved you
I could say nothing to change your mind.
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me,
where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.
My voice is a hatchet. It's forgotten how to whisper soft.
My mind is a bucket, and it captures the rain
sinking through the ceiling, landing on the rooftops.
You told me you were filled up with love...
I said, "You've lost it.
"You've said a mess of errors, you know not what it costs yet.
but I know, i know i know
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me, where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.
They say I've lost it all. I watched them burn all the pictures of good pain on the beaches.
and oh, if this is rock bottom....! Then I say, "Well God damn! The view from here is breath taking...."
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me, where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.
But I guess I shouldn't hang on to you my dear,
You always felt so strong,
Watching you crumble like this, oh, this feels so wrong,
Dry my every unshed tear,
You know courage is the absence of fear,
Just go ahead and walk away,
It's not like i ever needed you anyway,
How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear
You know what you've done,
Can never be erased,
But if you stay,
I could turn another face,
Your words are strong,
But what your eyes say is stronger,
and baby I know that you want to stay longer,
How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear
And I, I don't even know you,
You, you'll pretend that I'm gone
How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear my dear,
You will pretend that I'm not here,
You will pretend that I'm not here,
Just you forget that I was ever here
The above was the result of a loss of sleep. Have you ever had so much inside of you that you have to write? And then when you do finally get it all out you feel so relieved and terrible at the same time and its so overwhelming that you cry? I know it probably sounds like I cry a lot, but I really don't. Getiing my emotions out on paper is usually so hard for me that when I do, it's huge release and It's wonderful and horrible and scary at the same time. You feel a bit raw, because this shit is personal. For me it's really personal. And just because I feel like it, I'll put another writing I did tonight. Love it, hate it, I really don't care.
How did I get here?
And why the hell did it take this long?
I've buried a best friend
inside my trash can you left outdoors....
And you dropped me in the mailbox,
my face paint still left on.
And you accused I never loved you
I could say nothing to change your mind.
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me,
where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.
My voice is a hatchet. It's forgotten how to whisper soft.
My mind is a bucket, and it captures the rain
sinking through the ceiling, landing on the rooftops.
You told me you were filled up with love...
I said, "You've lost it.
"You've said a mess of errors, you know not what it costs yet.
but I know, i know i know
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me, where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.
They say I've lost it all. I watched them burn all the pictures of good pain on the beaches.
and oh, if this is rock bottom....! Then I say, "Well God damn! The view from here is breath taking...."
Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me, where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Just do it with love
So this weekend is Sam's party. I'm excited! I love Sam, and it should be pretty interesting! I made her a ridiculous mix cd of 90's pop and whatnot! I love 90's music! Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Barenaked Ladies! yay!
Anyways! I had a really awesome dream about going to Boston and Berklee (Conservatory of Music) and woke up and started looking at plane tickets and hotels. I really wanna take my mom! She wanted to go to Boston when the band went, but it was uber expensive, so she couldn't. She loves history and such, and Boston is my favorite city! I'm hoping she'll agree to use my money from the car accident settlement!
I go to rehab tomorrow for my hips! I have to go 3 times a week for 3 weeks. Boo. But on the plus side, Lucus is going to be here tomorrow! Him and I are going out to dinner tomrrow! I miss him so much! I haven't been apart from him for more than two weeks, then he moves to St. Louis! jeez! But I haven't seen him in over a month so I am quite excited for tomorrow!
Whoever reads this, have fun, live your life, and laugh!
Anyways! I had a really awesome dream about going to Boston and Berklee (Conservatory of Music) and woke up and started looking at plane tickets and hotels. I really wanna take my mom! She wanted to go to Boston when the band went, but it was uber expensive, so she couldn't. She loves history and such, and Boston is my favorite city! I'm hoping she'll agree to use my money from the car accident settlement!
I go to rehab tomorrow for my hips! I have to go 3 times a week for 3 weeks. Boo. But on the plus side, Lucus is going to be here tomorrow! Him and I are going out to dinner tomrrow! I miss him so much! I haven't been apart from him for more than two weeks, then he moves to St. Louis! jeez! But I haven't seen him in over a month so I am quite excited for tomorrow!
Whoever reads this, have fun, live your life, and laugh!
Monday, September 8, 2008
Insane ramblings: proceed with caution!
Is there really such a thing as destiny? Or is it just the succession of our decisions? Is there really a master plan for our lives? A perfectly mapped out journey with the appropriate rest stops? Does that even make sense?
I know I usually write some pretty lame things, but this might be a bit different. If you want, take a deep breath and keep reading.
Making one silly decision may lead you to your greatest accomplishment ever. Likeme taking Journalism my senior year. I only took it because I love Deb Davila, and I ended up winning anaward and perhaps finding my career! Little mistakes and decisions can affect your life, whether it be long term or short term. Catching the eye of that one cute guy could mean you've found your soulmate. But is it really destiny or something else? Are you really meant just one path for your life with no deviation? You can choose your path, but is it really you doing the choosing? And how do you know when fate steps in? What happens when you really do meet the one? Does the sky look bluer and the sun shine brighter? Or is that just hype? I took a chance on someone, he's really cool, but is it destiny that I meet him? Or did I take over my own destiny and choose for myself? I have so many questions, my head starts to spin and they seem to spill over into this blog. I'm really posing a lot of questions and answering none of them. Maybe we just get through life and that's all we can ask for.
I know I usually write some pretty lame things, but this might be a bit different. If you want, take a deep breath and keep reading.
Making one silly decision may lead you to your greatest accomplishment ever. Likeme taking Journalism my senior year. I only took it because I love Deb Davila, and I ended up winning anaward and perhaps finding my career! Little mistakes and decisions can affect your life, whether it be long term or short term. Catching the eye of that one cute guy could mean you've found your soulmate. But is it really destiny or something else? Are you really meant just one path for your life with no deviation? You can choose your path, but is it really you doing the choosing? And how do you know when fate steps in? What happens when you really do meet the one? Does the sky look bluer and the sun shine brighter? Or is that just hype? I took a chance on someone, he's really cool, but is it destiny that I meet him? Or did I take over my own destiny and choose for myself? I have so many questions, my head starts to spin and they seem to spill over into this blog. I'm really posing a lot of questions and answering none of them. Maybe we just get through life and that's all we can ask for.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
I will write you a lullaby
So, I'm 100% in love. Really I am. I am in love with Andrew McMahon. For those of you who live under a rock and don't know who he is, I will explain. Andrew McMahon is the writer/lead singer/pianist for the band Jack's Mannequin. He is about to put out a new cd "The Glass Passenger" September 30th. I got my hands on the leak of the entire cd, and fell in love with him all over again. He is the most poetic and beautiful songwriter. His lyrics are simple, but they speak beyond the words. And he does good, too. He was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2005, and started the Dear Jack foundation the next year to help fund cancer research. He is now in remission after he got a stem cell transplant from his sister, Katie, in August of 05. He is just amazing. Genuinely an amazing person. He has overcome so much, and done so much too. How could you not love him? Here's the lyrics to a new song called Lullaby. It's wonderful. I cried when I first listened to it. You can just read it and imagine how good it is with music.
These hammers and strings
Been following me around
From a box filled garage
To the dark punk rock clubs
Of 1000 American crowds
And my friend calls me up
She says, "how have you been?"
I say, "dear I've been well,
Yeah the money's coming
But I miss you like hell.
I still hear you in this
Old piano, oh yeah."
She says, "Andy, I know
That we don't talk as much
But I still hear your ghost
In these old punk rock clubs
Come on, write me a song
Give me something to trust
Just promise you won't let it be
The keys that you touch.
"Give me something to believe in,
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide
So I write you a lullaby
A lullaby
These hammers and strings
Been following me around
Behind passenger vans
Through the snow, dirt, and sands
Of 1000 American towns
And my friend calls me up
With her heart heavy still
She says, "Andy, the doctors
Prescribed me the pills.
But I know I'm not crazy.
I just lost my will.
So why am I, why am I
Taking them still?"
I need something to believe in
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide
To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I will write you a lullaby
These hammers and strings
Been following me around
From a box filled garage
To the dark punk rock clubs
Of 1000 American crowds
And my friend calls me up
She says, "how have you been?"
I say, "dear I've been well,
Yeah the money's coming
But I miss you like hell.
I still hear you in this
Old piano, oh yeah."
She says, "Andy, I know
That we don't talk as much
But I still hear your ghost
In these old punk rock clubs
Come on, write me a song
Give me something to trust
Just promise you won't let it be
The keys that you touch.
"Give me something to believe in,
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide
So I write you a lullaby
A lullaby
These hammers and strings
Been following me around
Behind passenger vans
Through the snow, dirt, and sands
Of 1000 American towns
And my friend calls me up
With her heart heavy still
She says, "Andy, the doctors
Prescribed me the pills.
But I know I'm not crazy.
I just lost my will.
So why am I, why am I
Taking them still?"
I need something to believe in
A breath from the breathing
So write it down,
I don't think that I'll close my eyes
'Cause lately I'm not dreaming
So what's the point in sleeping?
It's just that at night,
I've got nowhere to hide
To the sleepless, this is my reply:
I will write you a lullaby
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
This place is paradise I'm sure, here's my reservation!
Well, lots to say this time actually. I'm not going to school afterall. My scholarship didn't go thru in time, so next semester I'm going! Meanwhile, I'm gonna be working a lot at Aero and Montana's!
Bryce is an ass. Nuff said.
I cut my hair again!! It's really short this time! yay!
I'm getting excited about the Motion City Soundtrack concert in 15 days! yay! And for the new Jack's Mannequin cd in 28(ish) days! I love new music! Rumor has it, Meg&Dia are coming out with a new cd very soon too! All my faves are putting out new material! Makes me very happy!
I guess I didn't have that much to say!
You know you love me!
Kels
Bryce is an ass. Nuff said.
I cut my hair again!! It's really short this time! yay!
I'm getting excited about the Motion City Soundtrack concert in 15 days! yay! And for the new Jack's Mannequin cd in 28(ish) days! I love new music! Rumor has it, Meg&Dia are coming out with a new cd very soon too! All my faves are putting out new material! Makes me very happy!
I guess I didn't have that much to say!
You know you love me!
Kels
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