My Smile Has Become Empty

I thpught you'd always be here,
But I guess I shouldn't hang on to you my dear,
You always felt so strong,
Watching you crumble like this, oh, this feels so wrong,
Dry my every unshed tear,
You know courage is the absence of fear,
Just go ahead and walk away,
It's not like i ever needed you anyway,

How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear

You know what you've done,
Can never be erased,
But if you stay,
I could turn another face,
Your words are strong,
But what your eyes say is stronger,
and baby I know that you want to stay longer,

How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear

And I, I don't even know you,
You, you'll pretend that I'm gone

How, how, how did I ever get here?
You, you, you're leaving out of fear,
how how how did i get here?
you, you, you're leaving out of fear my dear,

You will pretend that I'm not here,
You will pretend that I'm not here,
Just you forget that I was ever here

The above was the result of a loss of sleep. Have you ever had so much inside of you that you have to write? And then when you do finally get it all out you feel so relieved and terrible at the same time and its so overwhelming that you cry? I know it probably sounds like I cry a lot, but I really don't. Getiing my emotions out on paper is usually so hard for me that when I do, it's huge release and It's wonderful and horrible and scary at the same time. You feel a bit raw, because this shit is personal. For me it's really personal. And just because I feel like it, I'll put another writing I did tonight. Love it, hate it, I really don't care.

How did I get here?
And why the hell did it take this long?
I've buried a best friend
inside my trash can you left outdoors....

And you dropped me in the mailbox,
my face paint still left on.
And you accused I never loved you
I could say nothing to change your mind.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me,
where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.

My voice is a hatchet. It's forgotten how to whisper soft.
My mind is a bucket, and it captures the rain
sinking through the ceiling, landing on the rooftops.

You told me you were filled up with love...
I said, "You've lost it.
"You've said a mess of errors, you know not what it costs yet.
but I know, i know i know

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me, where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.

They say I've lost it all. I watched them burn all the pictures of good pain on the beaches.
and oh, if this is rock bottom....! Then I say, "Well God damn! The view from here is breath taking...."

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie.
My smile has become empty
Heard you've been looking for me.
Come on kid you know where I would go....
See lately, lately, lastly
I would love for you to ask me, where the line between
my pen and mind's at war. I tell MOST the truth you know.